Should have come back inside....

the window was open and familar faces were calling with nice quaint assurances. At this realization I turned and leapt from the ledge. this is me being melodramatic about the issue of walking away from a painting convinced it is finished or eschewing safety and opting for another go at the highwire.
  When i am in a groove the work comes easy and fast. almost to easy, and always too fast. i feel compelled to work more even if i like a certain piece. usually if i begin to like a piece i let it sit for a good long while to decide if i really like it or if it just meets my "safe" zone. lately the work has been coming fast and easy with satisfactory results so i promised myself i would purposely overwork my next piece. i would take it too far in hopes i'd push the limits of my comfort zone and maybe stumble upon a whole new angle of attacking my paintings. it sounded good in theory. i have become more confident as an artist. surely i could overwork a painting and bring it back to something worthwhile. well......... very quickly i had laid down  a bunch of lines and marks which right off made me happy. the composition was tight. the movement of the work was nicely choreographed. i was really liking where this was heading....a lot! then i remembered my promise to myself. i went into the painting with more brushwork than ususal , more glazing, more scraping, more of everything. somethings were working, there was still a visual string to pull me back out of this cave. but then with a few more adjustments i had severed the line. i was lost. the paint had gotten thick and muddy, my instinct was distracted, and my beer was empty. not good. disheartening so. i had turned a successful painting into a burial mound containing an ugly corspe.
   i scraped off what layers of paint i could. and gessoed over the whole escapade. right now i am doubting how wise it was to follow through with the promise. tomorrow i am going to do my best to kick it's ass. it wont ever be what it was but maybe it still can be better.